I know, I know, it’s over. The person who seemed like the love of your life, the person you started making plans with and believed would be the person you would spend the rest of your life with. This is my forever. And just like that. It’s over.
How do I get over it? I have been there. And I know it isn’t easy. There’s a grieving process that goes along with it. There are so many different feelings that we go through.. There is hurt, confusion, sometimes anger and at times the feeling of betrayal. (That’s a tough one to swallow)
Because I have traveled down that path and know the disillusion that comes with it. I will give you some tips that may help. This is what worked for me. So if you’re ready. We can get started on this awesome (even if it doesn’t feel that way) process. And yup! It’s a process. But in the end you will thank yourself for it and the lucky lad who lands you will be amazed by how phenomenal you are!!
Ready for the tips?
Yup I did say grieve. You have to allow yourself to feel those emotions allow yourself to just be in that pain, confusion, hurt. Because as crazy as it may seem. If you don’t allow yourself to feel that. If you don’t allow yourself to cry it out, to grieve and go through that pain. You won’t truly be able to heal and move on. So, the first step is to get on with it. Listen to the music that resonates with you, eat that ice cream, cry it out, and write a letter (even if you don’t send it) the point is to take the steps to release the pain. And not hold it in.
Yes forgive because the forgiving is not for them, it’s for you. It’s cleansing you of that bitterness or pain that really isn’t serving you nor helping you. It will keep you locked into pain and hurt.
When you forgive you are saying to yourself I am able to let go, move on, become stronger and welcome the blessings that will come. Not forgiving will become toxic for you not just internally, but it is external also and it will reflect in your appearance and will affect other relationships whether it’s with a prospective new partner or a friend. For please forgive them for hurting you and while you’re at it, forgive yourself because you did not hurt yourself.
Step Three (this is where the fun begins!)
- SELF CARE
Get out of bed, off the couch, take off those pajamas that I know are comfortable as heck and have comforted you through this, felt like your safe little blanky but honey please give them a break!! Put that pint of ice cream in the freezer, take a nice long shower (cry it out in there if you need to) and while you’re at it, envision the pain washing away from you with the water. Change your music selection.
Let’s switch it to this one
- Emeli Sande – Breathing under water
- Alicia Keys – Girl on fire
- David Guetta ft. Sia – Titanium
- Katy Perry – Roar
- La Roux – Bulletproof
- Christina Aguilera – Fighter
- Sia – Alive
- Kelly Clarkson – Stronger
- Katy Perry – Firework
- Pink – So What
Now, doesn’t that feel much better? Let’s dance alone, shake it off and feel at least a bit better!
If you can invite some people over, or call someone who will join you in your feel good moment or will help you feel better! (it’s important to have a good support system through all that life will throw at you)
that takes us to the next step. 🙂
Step Four (this is still part of self care)
Try to surround yourself with those people who will not allow you to wallow, to have a prolonged pitty party, those people who will encourage, motivate and empower you. Who will be happy with and for you. Those people who you connect with that push you a bit to see your greatness. It’s important to connect with those people because they will uplift you and help you feel loved and supported. Have a night in with your support system, whip up a meal if you like to cook, order your favorite take-out if you prefer that or have everyone bring an awesome dish, crack open a nice bottle of wine (if you’re into wine) and enjoy a nice meal with great company and good positive, uplifting conversation and have a good time!
- BE PRESENT
Be present in the moment! Take time for yourself and listen to your inner self talk. Be very careful what you tell yourself because you are certainly listening. Your body reacts to what you tell yourself, your emotional state will show it and it will reflect in every aspect of your life. Allow yourself to feel empowered again. Allow yourself to be happy. Don’t let your ex have so much power over you and your life that they can manipulate your present and/or future. Do something every day that makes you feel good. Go for a run, speak to someone or people that make you feel good (going back to that support system) if it’s reading, eating healthy, writing, blogging (wink), whatever makes you feel good internally. What makes you feel good about your life, about the direction it will go in. Do what makes you feel empowered. Tell yourself some positive affirmations every day that will strengthen you. You can see my blog on affirmations HERE
If you recently had a break up and want to share your experience and/ or thoughts and have suggestions for other readers on what worked for you, or simply just have a comment. Please share your thoughts. And if you think someone might enjoy it, why not share it? Spread the love!
Ps. Here are some books you may find helpful in this journey
Warrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You Are Meant to Be By:HeatherAsh Amara